Remember that bitchin’ stereo you had back in the 90’s that totally cranked Nirvana, MudHoney, Public Enemy, Bob Marley, Chris Cornell’s screamin’ and Eddy Vedder’s growling? I got mine out of storage today. Yep; cleaned her and cranked her. Only I did my test sessions with Al Green. Sounded great except for that blown left main speaker. Reminds me of my ex, whom I had a dream about last night, and I was pissed off all over again.

I remember buying this monster. Oh, yeah; Kenwood receiver, CD player, tape player, turntable, and VHS video player (DVD wasn’t out then. Maybe it was but if it was it was way expensive. Way.) Infiniti, surround sound, theater system speakers; totally cranked. I still have the receipt and was surprised at how much we paid for it: $4800.00. Did I really spend that much money on a stereo? Evidently I did. Or, “we” did when we were nesting (for almost 8, long, boring years.) We both had really good jobs, no kids, one dog (mine), and made plenty of money. So, we bought stuff. Filled the void, if you know what I mean. Anyway, we walked right into Best Buy and bought it. Cool as hell.

I remember that we had a break-in at our house.  We must have interrupted it because the place was just tossed.  I do remember that they’d cut the stereo wires and had everything out, ready to take.  The police officer suggested I engrave my social security number to the stereo items so they could be returned if stolen and recovered.  This was, of course, back in the day, well before identity theft and the internet.  My damned, FULL, social security number is still engraved on the tuner and CD player.  I’m gonna have to figure out how to get that off there.  Now I think: “Geez!  What a crazy thing to do!!”  Back then I thought it was a great idea.  *rolls eyes*

I got the stereo in the divorce. She got the washer, dryer, TV (the big one, we had two), the bed, the highboy, the dining room set, the entertainment center… hang on. Maybe I should just list what I got. I got the stereo, the little TV, the futon, a dresser, and my stuff. Hmmm… Well, suffice to say, I just wanted to get the hell out of there so I’m feelin’ like it was fair. Sorta. Yeah, sure; helluva deal! No more drama!

Ahem… I digress all over the place.

Anyway, I pulled it out of storage today. I hadn’t had it out since the last ex (Chicago) had blown the speaker. I was furious and just couldn’t deal with hearing it sound like that. I cleaned it up, and I mean, I took that sucker apart, blew out six years of dust and dander, wiped it down, bought new speaker wire and RCA cords, and then carefully put her back together again. Sounded great ’cause I balanced it so the blown part of the one (of five) speaker (s) was low, low, low. It was really filthy and disgusting.

The tape player is long gone. The turntable is gone, too, and I regret that. We now have a DVD player and a nice TV so it’s going to sound really great if I ever get it all hooked up. I only got as far as hooking it up in the garage to see if it still works. It’s too much of a project to take everything off the entertainment center, move the entertainment center, put everything back on the entertainment center, and hook up the stereo to the DVD player and TV. That entertainment center weighs a ton, all by itself, so I’m not relishing having to move it.

My favorite part of watching a video was always the very beginning. I would play it, loud as hell, over and over again. You know that part where the THX comes on? My absolute favorite part. I could make the windows rattle with that baby! Of course, all of my friends thought I was crazy. Nah… Just a show-off.

I dare not do that to her now; I’m sure I’d blow out that speaker completely if I did. My receipt says the speakers have a lifetime warranty. I wonder if they are still covered. Infinity speakers were pretty good back in the day. But these are about 12 years old and have seen a lot of moves. For as much as I paid for these speakers, I’m going to at least check it out. No harm in askin’.

It’s just so nice to be able to have an actual stereo system again. I’ve been listening to music via a boom box for years. It’s a nice little box but it sure ain’t my stereo. This… This from a woman who used to insist on using gold-tipped RCA plugs and had the most pristine collection of vinyl you’d ever see. I was, I must admit, quite the audiophile, back in the day. I was also a professional DJ in a hot dance club in the early/mid 80’s. I quit because I couldn’t stand the bar scene anymore. Tsk… Growin’ up will do that to you. That and watching people totally tank their lives for the party.

I miss albums; I miss vinyl. It’s hard to mix with CD’s and vinyl had such a clean, clear sound. Eh… it’s all changed now and if I updated (for a gazillion dollars, no doubt), I’m sure I would love to crank ol’ Jimi on those tiny-I-can’t-believe-that-much-sound-is-comin’-out-a-that-lil’-thang speakers. And where the hell are the wires? I spent my afternoon splittin’ wires. With my pocketknife and my teeth.

Doin’ it Old School.

To Al Green.

It was cause for spontaneous dancing in the garage.

My new neighbors learned something about me today and I’m sure they’re just gonna looooooooove it.

Mama’s got her Groove back.

Let’s get it on!

From The Daily Humorscope for January 1, 2009:

Pisces

(February 19 – March 20)

You will become fascinated by the unlikely use of the same word to mean very different things. For example, what is the link between “seasons” as changes in the weather and “seasons” as in what you do to food? Or for that matter, why are Fall and Spring named for action verbs, and not Summer and Winter? Shouldn’t those be called something like Wiggle and Shiver?

Yesterday, my mom asked me if I knew another word for “thesaurus”. I actually thought about it, struggled to say it (tough “th” word) and said, “Synonym?” (Actually, I think I said, “Thinnomim?”) She laughed and laughed at her little joke and I laughed with her albeit still struggling to say, “th-th-thetharousth”.

It’s all made me think… Hmmm… What word(s) would I use to describe last year? I can’t think of just one. That and my horoscope makes me think about how I’ve seen the last year and how I may choose to see the one I’m about to enter. Is it positive or negative? Is it half full or half empty? Is it good or is it bad? Is it yin or is it yang?

Only my hairdresser (whom I haven’t seen for over 8 months) knows for sure.

I know that, for a long time, I’ve viewed this past year as being negative, bad, half empty, and yearning (for lack of a better use of a “y” word) for something different or, at the very least, a different outcome.

Let’s look back and then finally just trash this crap and move on, shall we?

• S and I had a major falling-out that caused both of us to reevaluate our lives and our intentions. It was really, really hard but we made it through stronger for it. (+)
• Oldest acted out (horribly) so, S reestablished a relationship with his dad and, after much anguish, sent him there for the summer. Since, dear old dad decided he couldn’t handle him, his new wife decided she wouldn’t deal with it and fabricated some bullshit story about him and they had him committed to a psych hospital. (He has never, ever done anything as she claims and, according to the psych people we spoke with, there was absolutely no evidence of it. There was, however, evidence that their “family” didn’t want him in their home.)They were going to (promised, in fact) send him home but instead, changed their phone number, stopped contacting us and, unfortunately, stopped contacting the other boys (who are heartbroken… yet again), and sent oldest (supposedly; we don’t really know) to a residential care facility. As current, non-custodial parent, S’ options are expensive legal wranglings and a daily source of pain and worry for everyone. There’s a lot more to this but that’s all I’m gonna say about that. This continues to be a negative; times ten, times ten. (———-)
• The job I had never became the job it was supposed to be and quickly began to go right down the shitter. I had a new (and totally inexperienced and inappropriate) DM who was on my ass constantly. I, like many other experienced (and appropriately paid) managers were being performanced out for the craziest crap. I got written up for reading StarbucksGossip.com and questioning the information I read. Crazy. The positive to this was that I saw the writing on the wall, found another career choice, acted quickly, and got out in the nick of time. (–/+++)
• I started a new job. While I really like it, it has been quite taxing to be in that high learning curve, once again, and to always be “on” regardless of whatever drama (oldest) was going on in our home. Hard but good. (+)
• This year I’ve had every illness the boys have so generously brought home. Twice. At least. (-) I live to tell… (+)
• (TMI ALERT!) I stopped having periods in April. I started having wayyyyy intense hot flashes in March that lasted through November. Hot flashes that would cause me to completely soak my shirt and reactivated my *doo* so many times that I had perpetually *crunchy* hair. Mood swings that would cause me to hear “Swing Low, Sweet Chariot” every time I had to atone for my bursts of emotion. Sleeping patterns that were so erratic that I slept (or didn’t) on the couch for most of the year. I was running on about 2-3 hours of sleep a night and would crash for entire days, as a result. I’d wake up and my pillow and the sheets would be soaked with sweat and my head felt like it was going to pop right off. So, I’d grab a blanket retire to the couch hoping that the TV would lull me back to sleep. I was starting my days at one in the morning. I got to the point where I’d take a little blue pill (Advil PM; not Viagra! Much to S’ chagrin…) in the hopes of falling and staying asleep. That eased up sometime in November and, while I’m having erratic menstrual periods, I’m just glad to feel a little more rested and sorta-sane. I turn 50 in three months. This shit had better be over by then! (+/—–/+)
• I sold my house in Tucson and actually made money on it before the housing bubble burst. Necessity is a mutha… But it all worked out quite nicely. (+)
• The stock market took a lil’ dip. I, at one time, thought myself foolish for taking my stock options out, cashing them in, and using the money to invest in my home and a positive change to our lives (the move to ABQ) while allowing myself the time to deal with *stuff* in my life. Turns out those stock options are now worth one-fifth what they were when I cashed them out. Timing is everything and I owe my good intuition and guardian angels a butt-load of gratitude. (+)
• When all that crap was going on with oldest, I was so frazzled that I lost my cell phone. Losing my cell phone is like losing a lifeline. I immediately went to the provider and found out that my contract was just about to expire. As a result, I was able to get a Blackberry for only 50 bucks, changed my plan, and saved money on the whole thing. I am now addicted to my phone. Hmmm… (-…+…? +/-)
• A snarky, bitchy, bitter, old blogger accused me of hijacking her blog in a comment. (Okay, it was approximately 550 words, and ya’ll know how verbose I can be but… Jesus, you know?! It was not my intention to “hijack” her blog and, certainly, there have been others with long-ass comments so I thought, ‘Why me?’ I guess it was just my turn. I can’t think of any other explanation as to why someone would be so hateful and hurtful.) I was taken by surprise by her vitriol attack and it hurt my feelings and made me mad. Now, this was during a very, very difficult time in our lives and I was probably way more sensitive about it than I should have been. I, pretty much, stopped blogging/sharing. Well, F-You, Patricia “Cappy” Cringe… I’m back. Party on, bitch. (–/FU*delete*++++)
• I’ve reconnected with old friends in a very positive way. It’s been a tough year for everyone (lots o’ —’s) but we all still love and support each other. (++ <3 ++)

Okay, wait a minute… Yeah, sure; there’s lot’s o’ negatives in there but, wait! Would ya look at all of those positives!!??!!

It’s been hard; it’s been good. It’s been emotional and rough and sad and scary; it’s been loving and soft/cuddly and strong. It’s been hot and wet in a not good hot and wet kinda way. It’s been full; full of life and stuff.

2008… I guess you weren’t the bitch I thought you were. You just had some totally bitchy and scary moments. Kinda like me… Huh.

Here’s to a better New Year… To better and more frequent good-hair days… To love and happiness and joy… To Friendship… To Family… To warmth and comfort food… To finally losing that GD 35 pounds hanging on my gut and butt… To reuniting… To good fortune… To a new presidential era… To Hope…

Y prospero Ano y Felizidad!

Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’… Into the Future…

It’s also been slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ right through my fingers. How time flies when you’re havin’ fun, eh? Not so much but it’s been whizzing by at a curious rate. I blame it on Sunday and two things: earlier than ever Daylight Savings and my birthday.

I had something funny to say on Sunday and now it’s Tuesday and I can’t remember Monday. WTF? Anyway, this year I turned another year older earlier than usual. I woke up and thought: ‘Shit. It’s my day off and I’m freakin’ awake at 4 in the morning which is really 3 in the morning or, is it? Did I change this danged clock, or what? I should check my cell phone ’cause that’s always right. Screw it! I’m not puttin’ on my glasses just to see what time it is or isn’t. I wonder if I should call the store and see if they are late today. Screw that! It’s my birthday and my day off and I’m going back to sleep! Does anybody really know what time it is? Does anybody care? Screw it!’

Yeah; if you haven’t noticed: my… life is like a song! (At Last…)

And so my day began as it ended in total funky-weirdness. I actually felt extra old on Sunday. I blame that on my job, earlier than ever Daylight Savings, and oldest child. He got into a whole buncha trouble that started on Thursday and, well, the hits just keep on playin’ through today! Without going into too much detail: bullies, push-pin, pierced ear, emergency room, tetanus shot, liar-liar-pants-on-fire, the police… always come late, principal’s office, blistered ass, and… many…. more! There’s a coupla songs in there somewhere, if you look hard enough.

I really needed a coupla hours to myself to just unwind from the stress of it all. So, what did I do? I went to Walmart, of course! Always stress-free at the Walmart! And what did I buy? Stuff for other people and a whole bunch of new underwear for me. Yeah; happy birthday to me: new panties.

Enjoy!

Oh, and while I’m at it, let me just congratulate myself on my spectacular whirling-dervish move of making to my vehicle in time to miss the fifty-foot, Dust Devil that was billowing its way over the retaining wall and making a beeline directly toward me. Yep, I just missed it but when I pulled out of the parking space, drove through the parking lot, and then turned onto the street, I noticed that the Dust Devil was headed straight for my truck as if it were a magnet. I had a Pepsi in one hand and a handful of chips in the other while I drove with my wrists pushed onto the steering wheel. There was no way I was going to be able to roll up my window fast enough. I opened my mouth (big mistake) and said aloud, “Well, shi….” and got a mouthful of whirling-dervish-dirt.

Lovely.

And the hits just keep on playin’…

Then I went to my mom’s house; had a lovely time. As I was leaving, I felt something cold land on my forehead. I actually said to my mom, “Either it’s raining or a bird just pee’d on my head.”… with nary a cloud in the sky.

Sigh.

Seriously, I don’t remember yesterday. Today, however, I was up at 3:30AM (or was it 2:30, biological time?) and at work by ten minutes to five (or four) only to wait until five minutes after five for my employee to show-up for her shift. I drank an entire Pepsi at 5:00AM (or 4) this morning. This, my friends, made me unusually chatty at that ungodly hour.

After work (at 12:30PM, which felt like 7:00PM because I ate “lunch” at 9:00AM), S and I went to see/meet the new principal at our school and discuss her (lack of) actions regarding four bullies doin’ a take-down on oldest and piercing his ear with a push pin. Last Thursday, this same principal, whom I’d not yet had the pleasure of meeting since her January arrival, called S, “immature” because S had the audacity to be crying, upset, mad, and demanding of what would/should be done.

I was looking forward to meeting said principal so I could give her a piece of my mind and to drop a few well-placed, upper-echelon, APS Associate Superintendent whatchamacalllit names on her ass. I had fun. Told her what I thought of her and how she would be addressing us in the future. I was a professional snark today. It was also quite clear that someone in the upper-echelons of APS had spoken to her prior to our arrival. Wow. The system actually worked for us this time!

I had called ahead and asked that two other particular administrators be available for our meeting just so we could have support (read: witnesses) to further our cause. You know, it was all over when I finally just said, “You don’t have children of your own, do you? [No, she does not.] Well, then, you couldn’t possibly have any idea what it feels like to defend your own child and/or to feel so helpless, afraid, angry, and worried about what just occurred. S may have been irrational or, maybe even out of line, but you are supposed to be the professional here and all we heard was what you weren’t going to do versus what you could/would do. That’s not acceptable”

Loved it. We aren’t exactly friends but she definitely knows who we are, who we know, and that I know the system and how to use/circumvent it probably better than any parent (or administrator, for that matter) out there. S called her a name after we got in the car. After meeting the woman, I don’t think S was being immature. In fact, I’m thinkin’ she’s got this woman pegged. I let ya’ll use your imagination as you “hunt” for the word S used. Spot-on accurate!

Still, yesterday remains a mystery.

Yep; I’m gettin’ old. I think. Depends on what time it is… or isn’t. Screw it. Where once I took the Indiana Jones approach to life of, “I’m just making this up as I go along.” to now adopting the Scarlet O’Hara approach of, “I don’t know nuthin’ ’bout birthin’ no babies.”

No. Wait. That wasn’t Scarlet…

Oh, well…”I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.”

… And hopefully I’ll have forgotten all about today by the time it’s yesterday.

“The thing the sixties did was to show us the possibilities and the responsibility that we all had. It wasn’t the answer. It just gave us a glimpse of the possibility.”

John Lennon.

I find it interesting, or at the very least, serendipitous, how things find their way into my psyche. Is it coincidence that paths the mind’s eye toward learning, understanding, and/or questioning? I truly believe that nothing is brought about by coincidence; once we begin to see(k), some of us cannot help but question it and journey toward an unveiling of truths that ring true for us as individuals and collectively. Truth can be an illusionary process as peeling away the layers can create even more questions. As certain truths become more evident, my faith becomes a more solid path. It becomes, for me, a Circle Quest and I never know where I may be led. To put it simply; this makes a person go, “Hmmm…” and truly wonder about those ol’ Laws of Attraction.

Recently, I happened upon John Lennon’s biography, “Imagine” and watched it with a renewed interest. I came away from that biography thinking that Mr. Lennon was indeed, a well-traveled soul. He had some very interesting things to say about government, war, wealth, religion, and love. I think, he too, was searching. I don’t know that he ever found what he was looking for, and like the rest of us, his journey took him down paths that I don’t think he could have ever imagined. I think it’s interesting that he said, “I don’t intend to be a performing flea any more. I was the dream weaver, but although I’ll be around I don’t intend to be running at 20,000 miles an hour trying to prove myself. I don’t want to die at 40.” I wish we could have all seen his talent and dreams come to true fruition.

Last November, my mom and I went to see the movie, “Bobby.” I didn’t really know what to expect from it. I’m really glad we had the opportunity to see it on the big screen. I gorged myself on a lunch of Milk Duds and popcorn while settling into a movie in which I was initially more fascinated with the 60’s clothing and hair fashions. I thought Demi Moore played a terrific, washed-up singer/actress, drunk. I thought it was funny that Emilio Estevez cast himself to play Demi’s long-suffering, ex-drummer-musician husband. Ashton Kutcher bugged me in that I couldn’t see him as anything but “That 70’s Show” dude. He was born in 1978 and I just could not relate to him as a wogged, sugar cube poppin’, and trippin’ drug dealer.

There were many great performances in this movie and I could go on and on about them. However, the movie didn’t really get under me until the end. Simon and Garfunkel’s “Sounds of Silence” started to play and I felt my throat tighten. I’d never really paid that much attention to the words of this song but suddenly they rang like a warning bell. I knew what was coming but it was the imagery of hope and tremendous belief in what Robert Kennedy professed to believe in, marked against the chaos that ensued as they walked through the kitchen of this grand hotel that evoked some of my strongest emotional reactions. Watching the parade of believers suddenly stunned into a reality of what “couldn’t happen again” and the bleeding innocents that simply got in the way of a bullet, was a heart wrenching experience; all to the tune of,

“Hello darkness, my old friend
I’ve come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence
In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
‘Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

“Fools”, said I, “You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you”
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, “The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls”
And whispered in the sounds of silence”

It became quiet; deadly silent in the theater save the sound of a few sniffles and uncomfortable shifting in chairs. It wasn’t until the very end of the movie where they showed Bobby Kennedy walking, talking, and still-photos of him with his family, growing up with his brother Jack; in the White House, in the streets, and his sweet tussling of the hair of a small child, that I found myself truly breaking down. In the background was the song, “Never Gonna Break My Faith” by Aretha Franklin and Mary J. Blige and snippets of Bobby Kennedy speeches. This very powerful song set to some very powerful images layered over his words had an incredible effect on me. And I cried and cried; my mom cried and cried.

We sat all the way through the credits while watching the images, listening to the song, and absorbing his words. They were hopeful words and with his death came, then and now, a sense of loss beyond measure because, well, what couldn’t happen again, happened. And with him went the 60’s; the impetus to upheaval and a nation’s spirit to protest and have their say. It began the long, downward spiral to where we are today, in politics, in community, in caring about global issues, and even, dare I say, in religion.  I was a little kid in the 60’s and the only thing I remember about any of the Kennedy’s was that one Saturday morning, my cartoons were replaced by a riderless horse wandering aimlessly, a whole bunch of cars driving slowly, a little boy crying and saluting, and my mother weeping.  I was mad ’cause it was on all of the (3) TV stations.  Of course, that was John F Kennedy’s funeral.  I don’t remember a thing about Bobby Kennedy.

We will never know what Bobby Kennedy may have done. That’s not really the point. For me, the point was that from there on… nothing significant happened. Sure, we got out of Vietnam but clearly, we didn’t learn much from it and now find ourselves drawing similar parallels with Iraq, Iran, Afghanistan, etc… Oh, my mind was reeling because while it seemed that nothing “significant” had happened, really, things have changed so much that we are now reduced to endlessly empty debates from our potential leaders versus proven leadership and ideals that appeal to the goodness within all of us.

It’s very difficult to discern reasonable answers toward what lies in front of all of us. What a mess our nation has become and so much of it from apathy that stretches into every speck of our lives. As connected as we all are through the internet, so too are we disconnected from each other and the power of the people. Movement was stagnant until recently when many, disgusted with the current administration, became compelled to actually make their voice heard by voting… in a primary. I really wonder what the numbers will be once the nominees are known and we are actually voting on a presidential candidate. Still, the choices are not easy.

My mom and I tried to remember who actually won that particular election. It took us a second to figure it out. I didn’t know that Ronald Reagan ran on the same primary ticket at that time. No, Reagan didn’t win (that time) but just as bad, if not worse; it was Nixon. There were actually many things that happened within Nixon’s Imperial Presidency but, once Bobby was gone, so too was a level of strength and inspiration in our nation. As he was mourned, the nation shifted and there was a level of defeat against hope within the “common man.”

Pockets of activists continued to fight the good fight and there were fewer and fewer as a nation in tremendous need of strong leadership, someone and something to believe in, acquiesced and retreated into their own homes and lives; oblivious to the world around them and too afraid or busy to venture out. It was an end of an era; Camelot was dead.

And so, I leave you with some quotes from a potentially great leader whose time came and went, like so many great leaders willing to stand and work for those he was leading as well as some quotes from a time management guru. (And unlikely pairing, que’ no?!) We will never really know what kind of leaders Bobby (or John, for that matter) would have been… could have been…

If only we had an RFK today… I wonder by what measure of a man and leader he would truly be. Some have compared Obama to both John and Robert Kennedy but I’m not so sure that these comparisons ring true. I, like many people, have become so suspicious of politics and politicians that I don’t know what to believe in or how to take a chance on someone’s leadership skills/potential. I wonder how many people felt that same way when both John and Robert were running for president.

There’s always something about someone that could be (or is) objectionable. The Kennedy’s were (are) Catholic (and for me, personally, that’s a tough one) and there have been many allegations of improprieties, etc… No one is perfect but when searching for true leadership, well, for me, anyway, I like to look at how they communicate because I truly believe that is the heart of great leadership. I think Obama is a good communicator but I just don’t know how I feel about him otherwise. Clinton, well, I never know if what she communicates today will be the same as what she communicates tomorrow. And I don’t even want to listen to the Republican (any of them) communications.

I like what Stephen Covey has to say about communication and leadership. Here are some snippets:

“If our motive is to manipulate, our communication and our leadership, in general, will prove to be ineffective over time…

When I ask in my seminars, “How many of you would agree that the vast majority of the workforce possess far more capability, creativity, talent, initiative, and resourcefulness than their present jobs allow or require them to use?” the affirmative response is about 99 percent. We all admit that our greatest resources are being wasted…

Quick, easy, free, and fun approaches won’t work on the “farms” of our lives because there we’re subject to natural laws and governing principles. Natural laws, based upon principles, operate regardless of our awareness of them or our obedience to them.

The only thing that endures over time is the law of the farm: I must prepare the ground, put in the seed, cultivate, weed, water, and nurture growth. So also in a business or a marriage there is no quick fix where you can just move in and magically make everything right with a positive mental attitude and a package of success formulas.

Correct principles are like compasses: they are always pointing the way. And if we know how to read them, we won’t get lost, confused, or fooled by conflicting voices and values.

Principles such as fairness, equity, justice, integrity, honesty, and trust are not invented by us: they are the laws of the universe that pertain to human relationships and organizations. They are part of the human condition, consciousness, and conscience.

People instinctively trust those whose personalities are founded upon correct principles. We have evidence of this in our long-term relationships. We learn that technique is relatively unimportant compared to trust, which is the result of our trustworthiness over time.

When trust is high, we communicate easily, effortlessly, instantaneously. We can make mistakes, and others will still capture our meaning. But when trust is low, communication is exhausting, time-consuming, ineffective, and inordinately difficult.

Most people would rather work on their personality than on their character. The former may involve learning a new skill, style, or image, but the latter involves changing habits, developing virtues, disciplining appetites and passions, keeping promises, and being considerate of the feelings and convictions of others.

Character development is the best manifestation of our maturity.

To value oneself and, at the same time, subordinate oneself to higher purposes and principles is the paradoxical essence of highest humanity and the foundation of effective leadership. Principle-centered leaders are men and women of character who work with competence “on farms” with “seed and soil” and who work in harmony with natural, “true north” principles and with the law of the harvest. They build those principles into the center of their lives, into the center of their relationships, into the center of their communications and contracts, into their management processes, and into their mission statements.”

Cool stuff.

Quotes of Robert Francis Kennedy:

“There are those who look at things the way they are, and ask why… I dream of things that never were, and ask why not?”

“It is from numberless diverse acts of courage and belief that human history is shaped. Each time a man stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current which can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”

“Ultimately, America’s answer to the intolerant man is diversity, the very diversity which our heritage of religious freedom has inspired.”

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.”

“What is objectionable, what is dangerous, about extremists is not that they are extreme, but that they are intolerant. The evil is not what they say about their cause, but what they say about their opponents.”

“Gross National Product measures neither the health of our children, the quality of their education, nor the joy of their play. It measures neither the beauty of our poetry, nor the strength of our marriages. It is indifferent to the decency of our factories and the safety of our streets alike. It measures neither our wisdom nor our learning, neither our wit nor our courage, neither our compassion nor our devotion to our country. It measures everything in short, except that which makes life worth living. It can tell us everything about our country, except those things that make us proud to be a part of it.”

If only a Vulcan Mind-Meld were possible… This would all be so much easier!

What a long, strange trip it’s been. I just worked nine, freakin’ days in a row and during that time had five community meetings and lots and lots of emails, phone calls, and other committee stuff to attend to. I’m pooped. And this is why I haven’t called anyone back, written on the ol’ blog, or cleaned up the ever-growing mess that is my desk.I signed on for this and kept saying it was going to be tough and, well, it is, but it has its rewards, as well. Unfortunately, we had NO ONE show up for yesterday’s morning meeting and only three parents and a principal for the afternoon meeting. It is tough to do all of this work and then have no one show up.Yo! People of Albuquerque! If you want a voice, you need to either show up for the meetings or go online and take the danged Superintendent Survey!Anyway…

“Hello, Universe?  It’s me, again.  What exactly you are trying to tell me?”

I have no idea what’s in the message but I’ve taken the call(ing) to heart and, boy-oh-boy, am I payin’ attention! I had the oddest, oogly-boogly moment yesterday.

Let me back-up just a wee bit… there’s a lead-in that I must address.

I got my first computer 5 years ago. It’s hard to believe it’s only been 5 years and at the same time, wow, it’s been 5 years. A lot has happened and the world, as I knew it, opened dramatically in those first days of web surfing. At the time, I was living in Tucson, Arizona but was connecting with people and information from around the world. How exciting was that!!

First of all, I had AOL as my provider. Yikes! I got it in the promotional package when I bought the computer and really didn’t know any better. Then I went to MSN, then MSN DSL, then Comcast, and finally to Comcast High Speed Internet. I was a long way off dial-up in a very short 6 months. I came to understand that learning via the internet was a very, very fast pace. As were the timelines I was living in when it came to connecting to other people. Online, an hour was a day, a day was a week, a week was a year (see how it jumps?), and a year was an entire lifetime. I could just barely keep up with all of the information, drama, and chatting news. I had no idea how to do it but someone (can’t remember who) turned me on to chat rooms and, voila’! An idea was born, taken to fruition, and eventually settled into the strange, rolling, voyeuristic conversations of non-sensical sentences and bit-map love. I enjoyed the pace of it if only to be able to show-off my typing/vocabulary prowess and hone my flirtatious wit. And… I made a few friends along the way.

I made a friend with a woman from New Mexico and we would talk about our favorite places to eat, the fact that my mom lives in ABQ, how many times I visit, and the next time I would be in town, we should have coffee. Anytime I saw her online, I’d buzz her and ask how she was doing and what was going on in Albuquirkie. Eventually, she got into a relationship, I got into a relationship, and we both stopped going online as often. As a result, we lost touch.  I haven’t been in a chat room in probably three years.  Blogging is now my “thang.”  I actually prefer to speak (parenthetically) in paragraphs.  HA!

Fast-forward two years later and I was living and working in the Chicagoland area. I was managing a Barnes & Noble in a small suburb just outside of Chicago. One day, I was standing at the customer service desk, and I looked up to help the two people standing in front of me. And who should that be? Well, none other than my New Mexico buddy and her significant other. That was really strange and we laughed and talked about how our lives had so strangely intersected. She’d moved to Indiana to be near her mother and I’d moved to Chicago for both a job opportunity and a relationship.

During the time I was in Chicago, I saw her four or five different times and we even had coffee a couple of times. S saw her more often as my NM friend was the store manager at the T-Mobile store in our suburb as we discovered purely by accident when S went in to pay her bill. Our lives were intersecting in the funniest, oogly-boogly kind of ways.

Fast forward approximately two years later…

Yesterday I worked at a different store while helping at a job fair. I’d gone into work early because I left my cell phone at work the night before. I then had to attend a Board of Education meeting which lasted until about 9:00AM. I decided it wasn’t worth my time to go home until 12:30 only to drive back to attend the job fair. My shift was supposed to be from 1:00 to 4:00.

Instead, I drove directly to the job fair. It was quite busy and my compadre saw me and said, “Oh, good, you’re here early! I need you to do a second interview with someone I just spoke to.”

“Um, do you mind if I put my purse down first? You know about my rule, right? I do nothing until my purse is off my shoulder.” I said jokingly.

I was teasing. She was serious. I quickly took off my purse and asked for a description of the applicant because there were several people waiting to be interviewed, many customers, and many, many people being interviewed. Once armed with a description (“Oh, somewhere between your age and so-and-so’s” to which I replied, “For God’s Sake! There’s something like a 20 year difference in our ages!”) I set about looking around the store. There was only one lone person sitting at a table and while the person didn’t exactly look like the description, I headed in her direction.

The closer I got… the more familiar she looked. ‘Hmmm…’ I’m thinkin’… ‘This person looks oddly familiar.’ Now, there are times when many people look familiar to me so this isn‘t such an odd sensation. Just the other day, S said to me, “Wow. All of these people look sooooooo familiar to me” We were at the fairgrounds and I asked her to never mention it again because, well, we were at the fairgrounds which suggested she was familiar with a buncha carnies. (Hahaha… It was funnier at the time, I guess…) Do you know what I mean? You can be somewhere that you’ve never been but for some reason, all of the people you run across seem familiar and, as a result, you are either frightened or warmed. Frankly, I prefer the latter.

So, I’m almost to the applicant’s table and the woman stands up and says, “Natalie?”

Oh. My. God! It was my former NM buddy! She’d just moved back to Albuquirkie six months ago. When I first got to know her, she didn’t actually live in Albuquerque, she lived in Southern New Mexico but her job took her to Albuquerque quite frequently. This was just too freaky! We laughed and connected and kept commenting about how weird all of this was and then… I interviewed her. Hahahahaha! Total weirdness.

Okay, here’s some more weirdness: as I was writing this, she just called me!

What. Is. The. Deal?

I just told her that her nickname is now “stalker.” Hahahaha! She’s now talking to S on the phone because they are both photographers. Coincidence? I think not. “Blah, blah, blah, blah, Canon, blah, lenses, blah, bald eagles, only had a 300 mm but it just didn’t go far enough, blah, blah, blah… let’s get together and shoot… blah, blah, blah.” Finally, someone for her to talk “camera” with.

The Universe works in mysterious ways. I am not really sure what all of this means but it’s pretty darned cool. My mom and I were talking about it this morning and both of us agree that the older we get, the smaller the world (or maybe even the Universe) becomes.

How about you? Is this phenomenon exclusive to my freaky, friendly nature or does this happen to other people, as well?

Oh, yes, yesterday was a much better day! I had a meeting with a community schools coordinator and just loved speaking with him. He’s a lovely guy… totally passionate about what he’s doing… and he and I talked about different ways to put the right people together to move forward in creating better parent involvement. I loved this guy and speaking with him put me in a terrific mood.

One of my favorite blogs is Queen of Dysfunction. She going through a funeral service education program and some of her posts about this stuff are hilarious, poignant, and sometimes, down-right gross. Yeah. My kind of read! Check her out if you get the chance. She’ll make you laugh squeamishly.

My life is so cool in that way.